Updated: Apr 5, 2022
Written by Joshua D. Harris
It's Monday. My week has just started. My cell phone is already buzzing off the hook. 9 missed text messages and 3 missed calls, not to mention my social media inboxes are full to the brim with red circles alerting me of unanswered messages. In an era of instant messaging and instant gratification I'm finding it hard to detach and be less connected. To be fair I'm a visual media content creator I have to know what people are thinking and watching at all times, but how can I be creative and effective if I don't learn how to make time for myself and my own life. These are questions that all of us artist have asked countless times. My goal this week is to teach all my fellow artist how to say No to distractions and yes to yourself. If that sounds like something you are interested in, follow me as I give you three tips to becoming a master of saying no.
Use Valid Reasoning
The number one reason why most people struggle with saying no is they see it as turning down an opportunity. If I don't say yes now then I might never have the opportunity to say yes again. I'm hear to tell you that that line of reasoning is a myth. The truth is life is long. Not long as in unlimited but long as in constant opportunities to make decisions. For example my first three years of High School I was way to shy to ever ask a cute girl out on a date, but eventually I grew some balls and by my senior year when another opportunity presented itself I took a leap and said yes. Don't be afraid to say no if the reasons for saying yes don't align with your principles in life. My principles in life are simple: 1. live everyday like it's your last 2. treat others how you wish to be treated and 3. family always comes first. Because I have a simple set of rules to govern my life by it's easy for me to say no when I'm given a set of circumstances that contradicts those. For example I know every week their is a certain amount of time that I will dedicate to my family, which means there are certain hours every week where I will not work out of respect for that principle which is essentially a promise to myself.
2. You Deserve It
I once heard someone say that every time you say yes to something you don't want you're actually saying no to something you do want. It's like being at the dinner table, if I fill my plate with all of those foods that I don't like then how will I ever have space for the foods that I do like. Remember we all have one life to live and we can't negate our own needs to satisfy everyone else's. All the great qualities you have as a person that make other people's lives better you need some of those same qualities to satisfy yourself. If anybody deserves you and your time, it's you. You've earned it!
3. Because You Can
The final reason why you need to start saying no, simply because you can. You have the power to tell people no and feel secure in yourself. It's your right as a free citizen to use your power of freedom of speech to say the word "no". The best part about saying the word "no" the more you say it the better it feels. Saying no will seriously boost your confidence.. take for example you want to ask your crush out but you're nervous that they might reject your advances, but then you remember the worst they can say is no and you tell people that all the time so it's almost like they're stealing your signature move .. which is kind of admirable if your really think about it. You're a gosh darn trendsetter! Keep your head up because your next chance to say "no" is right around the corner!
To summarize use these three techniques to become a master at saying "No"
Use Valid Reasoning
Remember You deserve it
Because you can